In the words of the great Dr Maya Angelou

“Never whine. Whining lets a brute know that a victim is in the neighborhood.”

I am using this space to vent tonight. Not many read this, even fewer since I lost most of my email subscribers, and those of you reading this will know me well enough to indulge me a bit and then forgive my lack of grace, I hope.

Raffles died four days ago and I’ve been moved by the amount of people who have sent sympathy and condolences. Dogs are family, fur children (though I hate the term furbaby) and grief at their passing can be just as deep and overwhelming as grief for a close friend or family member, which is what they are, in fact. So many people who had never met Raffles, have never met me, have sent their love and good wishes and said kind words. I even received a personally-written sympathy card from the vet’s. It’s lovely of you all.

And yet I dwell on those who actually knew Raffles, had met him, know how much my dogs mean to me and have remained silent, unable to bring themselves to say anything kind. When even those who have the most tenuous of connections with me are keeping me in their thoughts, these are not the actions of those who purport to be my friends. So that hurts.

What hurts more, arguably, is that M, Raffles’s first “dad” has offered no words of comfort or kindness. We rehomed him from my cousin’s family after she died almost ten years ago. I could not bear the thought of him being sent back to the Singapore Beagle Club to be rehomed to strangers. M has got on with his life unencumbered by seeing to the needs of this mischievous dog, and has become pretty successful. In that time he has never once asked about him or wished him happy birthday. For a time any amusing pictures we took of Raffles were matched by an old picture that M had taken. His sole comment, eventually, on my Facebook announcement was an “RIP” and a picture of Raffles on Nisha’s lap. That is all. Now, I know that some people find it difficult to express emotions but, nothing? Really? That hurts. Be better.