We parents become attuned to living our lives according to the school year and it feels appropriate to mark the beginning of September with a catchup post, since a combination of headaches and allergies and general bustle has meant I have written so little recently. We’ve decided not to rent out our house while we are in Hong Kong, largely because all the fittings were chosen with us in mind rather than tenants, with whom we’ve had quite negative experiences in the past. Eliza still needs to have a home base for university vacations and of course James needs somewhere to live. Rather than selling or renting out this house and being forced to buy a flat somewhere that could accommodate us all, with all the costs that implies, it seemed more sensible just to keep this as home. It’s a substantial house and we need to be able to cover the costs of its upkeep particularly since we are going to be running three households in Hong Kong, Beckenham and Edinburgh, for the next few years. With James and his best friend Adam back from holiday in Montreal I suddenly find that my home has become a student house. It’s only for about six weeks until I move to Hong Kong, and Eliza will be heading for university (I shall never call it “Uni”) in Edinburgh next week but it’s still disconcerting to have a young adult with different house rules and habits move into my home. This makes him sound like a cuckoo. Quite the contrary: he’s lovely and most welcome and he and James are great company for each other and Eliza. The person who was once a guest and de-facto member of the family unit is now a lodger. We have to work our rules about shopping, cooking, laundry and storage, who pays for what; who does what and when. I’d happily cook a vegetarian family meal to accommodate BFF Adam for example, but now that he’s BFF Lodger Adam, do we cook and eat different meals? I don’t know yet and it’s only for about six weeks but we need to get this all clear. It’s interesting how a young adult from outside the family, with different motivations and beliefs, changes the dynamic in the house. Three bright, opinionated young adults throw up new, untested debates. Where not long ago I would have been at the centre of the conversation I realise that my presence is now almost superfluous. I’m a little sad about this, but only a little. I’m so exhausted by the travelling and the stress of the last few months that I’ll happily retreat to my bedroom while it still is my bedroom, that is. In the brutal rationalism of our family these days, (why waste the largest space in the house?) James will move in here as soon as I’m gone. Two of my most rational friends view this as an unacceptable encroachment, even though I’m hardly ever going to be here, and I agree – bursting into sullen tears when the idea was first mooted – with them but I haven’t really got a case. Anyway, James will soon discover that the lack of insulation in my room ensure it is sweltering up here in summer and freezing in winter, and that the planes beginning their final Heathrow descent try the patience at 4.30am. This summer we’ve travelled a lot. We celebrated our Silver wedding anniversary by revisiting the place where we spent our honeymoon in Villeneuve-les-Avignon; we shadowed the Bromley Youth Concert Band to Lisbon on Eliza’s final tour, and I spent a week on two singing courses at Benslow. Although everyone seemed pleased with my songs (Lascia ch’io pianga, Porgi amor, L’amour est un oiseau rebelle and Art is calling for me for the singing summer school and Show me and Unusual Way for the musical theatre workshop day) I was struck down by the most excruciating thunderclap headaches whenever I got up to sing. I couldn’t shake them all week and went off to the doctor who’s now monitoring my blood pressure. We think it’s stress. Everyone says I have a lot going on. Crying has helped.

I’ll be spending the next few weeks sorting out the move to Hong Kong. The travel crates for Oscar and Raffles are being custom-made by Petair and we’re just waiting for their departure date. My ticket has been booked for 19th October. One-way was quite a jolt for me. I’ll be sorting out the stuff that needs to go by sea container, mainly warmer clothes and some kitchen equipment I think. I’m meeting up with some of my friends and we are somehow managing to skirt around mentioning that it will be a while until we see each other again. Of course this is sad but, given how the dynamic has now changed at home, I am now starting to reconcile myself to a new empty-nest phase of my life, the difference being that the nest is still occupied but the mummy bird will be gone. What shall I do then? I’m already working on the next post.