Well today was supposed to be another of those days of our building project where everyone was supposed to come and fit everything and we’d be left with huge amounts of progress. Another one. I’ve lost count of how many D Days we’ve had but suffice it to say that our project still isn’t finished.

It’s been a really frustrating week. To recap, our actual building work was almost there but depended on a painter who didn’t turn up for three of the five days he was allocated. As it turns out, he lives with his 14 year old son who had been hospitalised and so it was unavoidable (“Family comes first.”) but it still put the work back several days. Lee has nearly finished the painting now, though, and he’s done it really well.

In the meantime our kitchen units and most of the appliances have been sitting more or less in place waiting to be plumbed in and for the electrics to be connected. I feel like I am living in a B&Q warehouse. Some units have faults and we have had replacements delivered. However our kitchen specialist went off on holiday without really organising for the work to be done so it has not been done.

Long story short: after I yelled at him copiously, and he made me feel guilty for my objections,  he provided a plumber who has finally plumbed in the dishwasher – though its door is not yet attached so it cannot be used yet –  and the combi Quooker tap and the soap dispenser.

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Filtered water tap; Quooker combi tap; soap dispenser

An end to kettles in the Alliance household?” you may ask, “Infinite tea?”  Well, from the taste of the water: not quite. Here in London we have very hard water and we’ve made our tea using water from a filter jug for years. The Quooker boiler currently has no such facility and the tea tastes, well, minging. It’s scummy too and my worry is that limescale wiill prematurely destroy the tap and the the boiler in the same way that it destroys all unprotected appliances. (We have used a water softener at home for over a decade and it makes a huge difference. I wouldn’t be without it now but, because it adds a small amount of salt to our water supply, it is not drinkable.) What is the point of a boiling water tap that makes tea that tastes indescribable?

This means that we shall now have to buy and have installed an extra Quooker limescale filter unit. I only hope we can find a plumber available to do it. In the meantime the kettle is staying out of the skip.

We were supposed to have our internal doors, with integrated privacy blinds in the glass, installed today too. Sadly, the glass has been manufactured with white integral blinds instead of the grey that we ordered. And the packaging did not include the wheels so this is the scene tonight:

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The height of sophistication on the Friday before a Bank Holiday weekend. We are assured that the replacement glass with grey blinds will be available to fit on Tuesday morning along with the wheels. Our furniture is being delivered from storage on Tuesday too, so I’m buying popcorn to watch the removals men and the door fitters trip over each other.

Turns out that Tuesday is going to be yet another D Day: apparently, the remaining kitchen doors and cupboards will be fitted and the electrician is supposed to be coming to install the appliances. If they can find one. The sparks who has done all of the electrics until now has gone to ground and isn’t answering his phone. I’m wondering how many more weeks it will be until I actually have a functioning kitchen.

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On top of this, there’s the 8m wide Markilux awning that we ordered months ago and that’s been ready to install for weeks. On putting it up yesterday, the Samson technicians discovered that its motor did not work, so they will have to send for another one from Germany. (Nicht immer besser?) When the OH phoned them up yesterday, a representative assured him that he’d find out more details and come back to us. To date he has not. It is probably just as well that we are unlikely to have enough sun to require its protection this Bank Holiday weekend.

Avert your eyes please. Here comes a rant:

WHY OH WHY OH WHY IS IT SO BLEDDY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO DO THE JOB FOR WHICH THEY ARE PAID; OR TO CHECK THAT THEIR ORDER IS CORRECT; OR TO ORGANISE THEMSELVES SO THAT THEY DON’T KEEP THE PEOPLE PAYING THEM WAITING FOR WEEKS? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH EVERYONE? I SPEND ABOUT 30-40% OF MY TIME CHASING COMPLACENT, LAZY, INCOMPETENT PEOPLE TO RECTIFY THE MISTAKES THEY HAVE MADE. AND THIS ISN’T INDIA OR FRANCE OR CHINA: THIS IS THE UK. WHY DON’T PEOPLE LISTEN? OR WRITE THINGS DOWN?

So, yes. It’s been a frustrating week, kitchen-wise. This time last week I thought I might be sitting down to a proper evening meal and alas it was not to be. So near and yet so far.