As you know I’ve recently had a blogging hiatus. That was partly because I underwent a bout of bloggers’ block, but also because, as some of you might already know, I’ve been trying to write a novel. Don’t laugh. Also, enough with the stony silence, Ok?
I’m not sure whether it will be good enough to publish yet, but I’d certainly like to try and write a decent book. I’ve been weighing up plot twists and turns of phrase in my head for the last couple of months and this has distracted me from the usual flights of fancy that generate my blogposts.
I don’t want to give much more away than I’ve already blabbed to all and sundry, but the book’s going to be a bittersweet romantic comedy. And a romantic comedy needs a hero, doesn’t it? So this weekend I’ve been pondering the attributes of my fictional Prince Charming. I should re-emphasise that the book is a work of FICTION, but fiction has to be based on something so the following list, in no particular order, probably corresponds closely which what I would require in an ideal partner.
- Male.
- Reasonably fit and healthy.
- Reasonably well turned out. But not overly so. Hogging the mirror is not stylish.
- Solvent.
- Own hair But NB I don’t appreciate gorilla hirsuteness in any form. Especially beards.
- Good manners. I would expect this in any interlocutor although it is not good manners to point out the bad manners in others, obviously.
- My hero must like animals. Especially dogs. There is something really creepy about people who say they don’t like any animals and it makes me wonder if they know how to be compassionate. And dogs have definite emotional needs. And just don’t get me started on that dog vs. cat person thing. I’ve been both so it is possible to change. So what does that say about those people who only like cats for their aloofness and independence, eh? I’ll tell you. It says: NOT FOR ME.
- Well educated and cultured. Able to communicate fluently and with articulacy in at least two languages (as well as the language of lurve.) I like people who are nicely spoken (an accent is absolutely fine within reason) and have a reasonable knowledge of art, literature and music or, if not, are willing and open-minded enough to want to experience them. That having been said, someone who had no clue about music would be a total non-starter for me and my elegant heroine. Not being moved to tears by a favourite piece of preferably Rachmaninov is a deal breaker for me.
- Stylish. A well cut suit, a properly tied tie, reasonable shoes. A dinner suit when the occasion demanded but not, as I’ve said, a preening peacock.
- Kind and compassionate. Neither an arse nor a boor. Or a bore. This is almost so self-explanatory as to be unnecessary but it must be said.
- Someone who listens. How infuriating and corrosive is it having to repeat everything time and again?
- Sex. No-one needs a fumbler.
- Humour. I have no idea why it has taken me so long to get to this attribute, probably the most important thing for me.
- Open-minded. Non-discriminatory and non judgmental. Chauvinist, homophobic neanderthals can just stay away.
- Someone who does not drink to excess and a non-smoker. We are no longer teenagers. Smoking is a deal breaker. Yuck. Stinky.
Now come to think of it most of the above are basic human decency, and I would require them of myself and my female friends too. Wouldn’t you? Is it really too much to ask in a partner?
What are your essentials in a fantasy partner? What are the deal makers and breakers? What would you compromise on for someone you loved to the core of your being? Do let me know and I might use them in my book.
Well I can’t add to what makes a good male lead, however I could suggest some female alternatives. That would match this hero figure.
-Female, that’s a given in a heroine.
-comfortable in her own body, if your hero is fit&healthy a partner who is insecure might get jealous and snipey.
-beautiful without make up, nothing wrong with glaming up. But the first thing you see in the morning should at least resemble your hearts desire.
-unmaterialistic, regardless how ‘solvent’ your hero is, if he’s a billionaire he wouldn’t want a money grabber, if he’s humbly working class then he wouldn’t want to feel that he doesn’t provide enough.
-seen as there’s no straight line equivalent to “own hair” I shall go for ‘childishly enthusiastic’. Doesn’t matter what about, but she should have something that makes her giggly with excitement.
-confident around strangers, nothing worse than someone being referred to as “your girlfriend” rather than her name because she never speaks to your friends and family.
-understand sport, doesn’t have to play or be a big fan, but it’s important to most men and a heroine has to be okay with that.
-able to underdress, in reality most relationship aren’t all glamour, the everyday is hoodies and leggings in front of the TV if a woman can rock this look then she’s a keeper.
-politically minded, any view is good, different views to the hero is better. Arguments fuel passion and politics is great place to start.
-forgiving, even ideal heroes can talk themselves in to a corner and say something stupid, a heroine has to be merciful.
-sex same as you said.
-has to be funny, sense of humour is a two way street. Even if its only in private there’s nothing sexier than a funny woman.
-smarter than the hero, women should be smarter than men, there’s a reason we go to our mums for serious advice and our dads for DIY tips.
-personally smoking, drinking or any mild social drug use is fine. So I’ll add a personal one. Erm…how about an environmentalist, no point living happily ever after if all your grand kids have to live under the sea.
Love Stephen
@kingbagcarrier
Oops missed off the culture one, pretty much the same as you but instead of languages, has to be able to play an instrument or at least engage in an art as a hobby or professionally.
Thank you. This is brilliant and thoughtful. And an insight into what men want.
Thank you so much, S, for putting so much thought and effort into this. Duly noted! X
I’ve been giving this a great deal of thought and concur that my list may seem quite shallow compared to both yours…! I have expanded on the “Tall Policeman” criteria however as a single lass that is confident and independent I am willing to take each potential object of my affections on their individual merit….providing they meet at least some of the following criteria…
Good personal hygiene
Tall
Reads booksShort hair / shaved head / bald – ie not hairy on head!
Funny
Literate
Animal lover (dogs especially)
Non smoker
Tattooed
Fun, experimental, confident during sex
Manly
Not much to ask is it…?
L x
Haha. Thanks for your contribution Lisa.
Yes. I missed off the good personal hygiene thing. That’s a must. My here would not look as if he was in need if a wash.
Also charm is really important to turn my head in the first place: a twinkle in the eye; wit, call it what you will.
And someone who’s interesting and interested in me.
Is it REALLY so much to ask?
If your character had her own list of requirements for the perfect mate, it might be interesting if she chose someone who didn’t have all the ‘right’ attributes.
Very true!