Craig as Bond

Gratuitous pic of Mr Craig as Mr Bond. Also his lovely car. Creative Commons.

 

 

 

 

 

As you know I’ve recently had a blogging hiatus. That was partly because I underwent a bout of bloggers’ block, but also because, as some of you might already know, I’ve been trying to write a novel. Don’t laugh. Also, enough with the stony silence, Ok?

I’m not sure whether it will be good enough to publish yet, but I’d certainly like to try and write a decent book. I’ve been weighing up plot twists and turns of phrase in my head for the last couple of months and this has distracted me from the usual flights of fancy that generate my blogposts.

I don’t want to give much more away than I’ve already blabbed to all and sundry, but the book’s going to be a bittersweet romantic comedy. And a romantic comedy needs a hero, doesn’t it? So this weekend I’ve been pondering the attributes of my fictional Prince Charming. I should re-emphasise that the book is a work of FICTION, but fiction has to be based on something so the following list, in no particular order,  probably corresponds closely which what I would require in an ideal partner.

  • Male.
  • Reasonably fit and healthy.
  • Reasonably well turned out. But not overly so. Hogging the mirror is not stylish.
  • Solvent.
  • Own hair  But NB I don’t appreciate gorilla hirsuteness in any form. Especially beards.
  • Good manners. I would expect this in any interlocutor although it is not good manners to point out the bad manners in others, obviously.
  • My hero must like animals. Especially dogs. There is something really creepy about people who say they don’t like any animals and it makes me wonder if they know how to be compassionate. And dogs have definite emotional needs. And just don’t get me started on that dog vs. cat person thing. I’ve been both so it is possible to change. So what does that say about those people who only like cats for their aloofness and independence, eh? I’ll tell you. It says: NOT FOR ME.
  • Well educated and cultured. Able to communicate fluently and with articulacy in at least two languages (as well as the language of lurve.) I like people who are nicely spoken (an accent is absolutely fine within reason) and have a reasonable knowledge of art, literature and music or, if not, are willing and open-minded enough to want to experience them. That having been said, someone who had no clue about music would be a total non-starter for me and my elegant heroine. Not being moved to tears by a favourite piece of preferably Rachmaninov is a deal breaker for me.
  • Stylish. A well cut suit, a properly tied tie, reasonable shoes. A dinner suit when the occasion demanded but not, as I’ve said, a preening peacock.
  • Kind and compassionate. Neither an arse nor a boor. Or a bore. This is almost so self-explanatory as to be unnecessary but it must be said.
  • Someone who listens. How infuriating and corrosive is it having to repeat everything time and again?
  • Sex. No-one needs a fumbler.
  • Humour. I have no idea why it has taken me so long to get to this attribute, probably the most important thing for me.
  • Open-minded. Non-discriminatory and non judgmental. Chauvinist, homophobic neanderthals can just stay away.
  • Someone who does not drink to excess and a non-smoker. We are no longer teenagers. Smoking is a deal breaker. Yuck. Stinky.

 

Now come to think of it most of the above are basic human decency, and I would require them of myself and my female friends too. Wouldn’t you? Is it really too much to ask in a partner?

What are your essentials in a fantasy partner? What are the deal makers and breakers? What would you compromise on for someone you loved to the core of your being? Do let me know and I might use them in my book.