I had long hair until I was 12. On the rare occasions it was loose I could sit on it but that was only ever when I had it washed with Indian herb powder every 6 weeks or so. It took my mother about an hour to comb out the tangles – conditioner was unknown in our house – and I usually wore it in a plait that my mother did for me each morning. But by my second year at senior school, I was fed up with relying on my mum for my hair and fed up of having my plait pulled “ding ding,” by jokers at school so one day I went to a local hairdresser and had it all chopped off. Ironically this was only the start of my hair incompetence and resultant hopelessness and it took me over thirty years to realise that hair is probably easier to deal with long than short.

Anyhoo, I’ve now grown my hair long enough for it to be put up out of the way and I finally feel sufficiently clued up and courageous to experiment with an updo for the odd concert or, rarer, an evening out. Recently those lovely people at the Baccarat salon here in Beckenham put my hair up in a French pleat using a whole can of hairspray and about a thousand hairpins, but I’ve always fancied the idea of a beehive like Britt Ekland or Mari Wilson. So, with the help of a hair tutorial from Cherry Dollface on YouTube, I took my courage, hair and backcombing brush in both hands and tried a bouffant beehive for myself. I have to say that, predictably, my hair did not look like Cherry Dollface’s “simple-to-achieve” look. But practice undoubtedly makes perfect and it looked OK for dinner that evening at the Oxo Tower restaurant, where my husband and I were marking 31 years since our first date. That the Oxo Tower is now bathed in blue lighting that makes it visible over long distances from the outside whilst rendering it rather gloomy on the inside can only have helped.

Now, in order to achieve a beehive look one has to backcomb ones hair and this makes it entertainingly knotted and tangly. Wizened old crones like me have less to worry about than fresh-faced mermaidens such as Miss DD in this respect, but it is quite nice to be able to drag a comb through ones hair to make it look vaguely respectable the next day. In my experience, this can only be done by washing out the hairspray and bouffing thoroughly and applying a restorative deep conditioning treatment. I am a fan of Moroccanoil products and their Restorative Hair Mask really came into its own here. I’m not going to say that my hair was completely tangle-free after its first post-bouffe wash but it was actually possible to comb my hair all the way through without too much frustration and teeth gnashing.

Here is a picture of the pot of Moroccanoil Restorative Hair Mask. I have no idea why it has Hebrew writing on it. I bought it from Amazon at around £35 for 500ml.


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